I grew up in the African Pentecostal Church, a denomination within the African Charismatic Movement. A central tenet of our religious practice is spirituality manifested through supernatural occurrences: a belief in miracles and the powerful spiritual mechanism of laying on hands through prayer to overcome sickness, disease, and difficult life circ*mstances. This practice is derived from our indigenous traditional faith systems, adapted to fit the mold of Evangelism. However, I have realized that faith in distant healing, miracles, and the laying on of hands often leans towards ableism and a taskmaster-like mentality.
It's almost as though, since they profess a firm belief in Jesus Christ as their divine Savior, they focus predominantly on His healing ministry, overshadowing all other aspects of His complex life. This fervent focus leads to condemning and praying away anything outside of what they believe is “normal.” The emphasis on non-local healing often dehumanizes disabled people. Testimonies abound about healing particular body parts or entire bodies, both internally and externally. Mental illnesses, neurodivergence, and the randomness of biology are labeled as curses from demons, and being “cured” and “delivered” are celebrated as the highest spiritual manifestations of their connection to God.
As an observer, it quickly becomes apparent that their prayers are centered on getting precisely what they ask for, fostering what I consider spiritual entitlement. This total belief and expectation that God will directly answer their specific prayers for healing or breakthroughs has led to this phenomenon. Dossey and the Spindrift researchers call it directed prayer. Their refusal to accept any negative thinking or alternative approaches as part of God's will suggests that any lack of faith is a sin against God. Doubt is not tolerated, and any suggestion of insufficient faith is equated with apostasy, leading to shame and blame when prayers go unanswered.
I have always resisted such ideology. It is dogmatic, shame-filled, and simply untrue. I recognize the power of love and care as essential elements of spiritual healing, as Dossey emphasized when he said, “Without this love, healing cannot occur” (pg. 71). I denounce how one person’s healing is weaponized against those living entire lives with similar experiences. It creates a sense of unworthiness or invisibility in religious and cultural communities. It is unfair to suggest that a person is disabled due to a lack of faith or as a punishment from God. Telling someone they haven’t been healed because they haven’t prayed hard enough helps no one. I see the connections between fervent belief in spiritual healing and the exploitative exceptionalism and discrimination of disabled people.
To heal others, a person does not need to be fully healed in the local body sense. In astrology, this concept is embodied by the asteroid Chiron, representing the wounded healer, and reminds me of Tsunade, the world's greatest medical-nin. Tsunade holds many titles and powers in the Naruto universe, namely the ability to “identify any ailments at a glance and treat conditions that other medical-nin deem impossible to cure.”1 But, with great power comes even more significant pain, and Tsunade’s loss of the two loves of her life leaves her more wounded than any physical scar on the battlefield as a ninja. Still, because she is such a highly skilled and ranked ninja in the Hidden Leaf Village, as one of the Legendary Three Ninjas, she must push past her pain to save others.
Biblically, it is reminiscent of the Apostle Paul, who described an infirmity—a thorn in his flesh that he asked God to remove. After asking three times, God responded, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). This divine assertion suggests that nothing within us is broken or useless. Our disabilities can demonstrate the Spirit’s power. Paul continues, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.” This non-directed prayer and spiritual posture reflect a bold declaration that one is most significant in God’s eyes when weak, covered by God’s grace, not by a cure or healing.
I have witnessed the contrary despite Larry Dossey's stance on not taking prayers or spiritual energy as natural. My mother introduced me to an international Nigerian Christian prayer group on YouTube two years ago. The pastoral leader of this ministry has a keen spiritual gift of healing others without meeting or knowing them, receiving spiritual messages from God during live prayers. He prophesies about viewers’ situations, leading to testimonies of spiritual and physical healings backed by medical reports, photographs, and eyewitness accounts. This undeniable healing power attracts people from different countries seeking similar experiences.
However, the daily banishment of “the demon” of autism and “slow development” has pained me, making it unbearable to subject my mind to such bigotry despite connecting with other prayers of breakthroughs and healing. If we’re speaking of pain and Naruto, I have to bring up the leader of the infamous villain group, the Akatsuki, and its leader, Pain. What was founded in a pacifist attempt to bring peace to a violent world, in the hands of a grieving and vengeful friend, turned into warfare of death and destruction. Nagato was entrusted with the pursuit of peace by his dying friend, Yahiko. But when evil and pain fester in the world, so dies the hopeful dream of a better tomorrow. In resentment, Nagato believed that world powers would never willingly consent to peace among the villages and nations and that Akatsuki's previously pacifist approaches to achieving that goal were, therefore, futile. Nagato concluded that “the only way the world would turn away from its constant warfare was to experience such catastrophic death and destruction that it could never again stomach the idea of conflict. And he wanted to be the one to show these horrors to the world, Nagato began using the alias "Pain" and formed the Six Paths of Pain, into which he integrated Yahiko's corpse so that he could symbolically continue leading Akatsuki.”2
While Jesus’s earthly ministry began with healing, increasing faith in Him, this ministry builds faith in God primarily by believing in the pastor’s presence for healing. It makes me wonder if they would serve God without the belief or trust in healing. The ministry’s mantra, “what God cannot do does not exist,” promotes faith without doubt or negative thinking. However, as Dr. R. Rosenbaum said, not everyone can embody a doubtless positive thinking pattern. Enforcing non-negative thinking as a faith doctrine is damaging. Mayer noted that healing can occur without belief, reflecting that lacking faith does not preclude the Holy Spirit’s healing power.
This realization has led me to start my journey as a Reiki practitioner. Reiki, a Japanese spiritual healing practice, uses the laying on of hands and the transmission of spiritual energy from collective wellness, love, and unity from God. It is not a religion and requires only the willingness to receive and the openness to be healed. The Reiki practice I study focuses on Christ Consciousness spiritual energy used to heal through the hands, distant healing, photographs, and intentions of goodwill and compassion.
Reiki resonates with me because it’s not just about healing. It’s about connecting and using the energetic threads that bind us for good. I aim to heal people regardless of their beliefs. I want to help heal people’s relationships with their self-belief. That is enough for me if the laying on of hands can foster self-love and kindness towards others.
My ministry is to use spirituality to heal those who may never step into a church or associate with a religion but want to reconnect with their divinity and the divine presence of the Oneness of God. As I work on my healing and development, I know I have a spiritual knack for it. Despite my questions and doubts about when natural healing will happen in my life, I believe this should not hinder me from helping others heal. I do not want to be “cured” of my neurodivergent, autistic brain, which my religious community often sees as a disqualifying disability or demonic possession. I see my autistic brain as a divine gift. Therefore, their ableism and limitations should not stop me from helping others heal.
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